#5: Like Mike Basketball Shoes

Ok so these shoes were hanging on an electric line (my understanding is that this gesture suggests the space beneath directly below said shoes is a venue for purchasing drugs, but I dunno. Just thought that would be a hilarious coincidence) and they're struck by lightning or some astrological force. Bow Wow somehow discovers the shoes. Anyway, the shoes endow the owner/ person wearing them with basketball abilities akin to Michael Jordan, despite height, color, creed, or any other potential impasse to being tremendous at basketball. It's also possible that the shoes make one better than Michael Jordan. I say this because I seem to recall all 5 foot 3 inches, hundred and thirty-five pounds of Bow Wow not missing a shot once, let alone being capable of dunking. Logically speaking, anyone who becomes like Mike as a result of the shoes, but has fewer qualities indicative of basketball success, is better than Mike... Anyway, that's not as important.

Bottom line: I would head directly to Rucker Park and become a street legend. NBA you ask? Nope. I'd travel the country to all the notorious and infamous courts where no white boy who grew up in suburbia and never played organized basketball could even watch, let alone participate, and earn the respect of all the players. I'd make my money somehow, sponsoring street games, playing pros who called me out for not having the right stuff to play in the NBA in televised one-on-one games, etc. I'd also fortify the shoes so they didn't fall apart on me like they did in the movie, get them to some sort of sneaker cobbler to make them invincible.

After all this I'd probably join the NBA and win 6 championships, not just "get my team into the playoffs."